Usual day

Date: 2021-04-27

I'm distracted. My mind is foggy.
There are so many thoughts and I'm trying to calm down but it's doesn't work that easy.
I did a meditation and my mind was everywhere but hot here.

why?

I know why very well. I left the reactor to overcome the observer inside myself.
The reactor is dictating my actions and my thoughts now.
I know that is a human thing but I must be better.
I must be like water.
The water never react back or leave its feelings to influence anything else.
The water is formless.

What should I do now
I still feel the complex mix of feelings - insult, angry, pain, I want to give back in order to feel better.
I don't want to keep it in myself because leaving these feelings in myself will not bring me anything good.
And I will not.

I'm quite self-aware. It much more than anyone else around me.
I see that people don't realise the truth.
They doubt it and they cannot believe.
They don't fully realise the key so they don't give a lot ot attention of the key.

And the key... I have the key. I look after the key and keep it in a special place.
A place that nobody has ever been. The key to everything. I have it.
I thought people realise the key but it's not a realisation about the key.
They just know about the key but do nothing. It's such a phenomenon.

Well, the I have the key. And I will use it in this situation. In this usual day.
The key require one simple thing in order to be powerful. It requires discipline.
My favourite. Like Lincoln, like Eleanor, like Benjamin. They all did it.
If another human being is able to do this, to build this discipline so everyone can.

Maybe they have also realised that you cannot push to influence.
You must first relax. You must create, achieve, be there.
Nobody has ever changed by pushing. People change by influencing and by inspiration.
Not by pushing, explaining, fighting. None of these work.

I stop today. I will take another approach from now on.
I will go there and will influence by inspiring not by pushing.
Everyone has its time. My time just came earlier and I learnt the secret earlier.
I must resist my desire to share it now even with my love ones. Even with my closet people.
I will resist my desire to help them now, to give all my efforts to explain them.
Their time will come. I know.
It's a hard choice to make. Damn. It's hard.
A decision is made.